I want to die

It was a dark cold night. The dim candle light coming out of the small, rickety cottage was the only thing that pierced through the blinding darkness. Peter lied on the bed ailing with high fever, while Mathews sat just next to him, holding his hands.

"You are going to be fine. Just have faith in God.", said Mathews, trying to make a happy face, but failing miserably.

"Mathews, do you know something, now I don't want to be fine. I just want to die.", said Peter warmly with a meek smile, with tears trickling down his eyes as he spoke.

"Don't speak so, Peter! Life is not so dull, that it should be given away. I believe there must have been some reason.", said Mathews.

"He just could not understand. My words just couldn't reach him." said Peter heavily with a choking feeling in his throat. Now Peter's warm, meek smile had disappeared as he fought hard not to cry.

"I never realized, I was such a pathetic human being." As he said these words, he just could stop his wails anymore, and broke down. "I did not deserve this, I did not deserve this." He spoke with a heavy voice as he started to cry out loud on Mathews' shoulders, that had now gone wet with Peter's tears.

Life had shown a cruel face to Peter in the last days of his life. He was just 23 and was dying of an unknown complication that had developed in his heart. He had never complained before as he thought he had lived a very beautiful life, and had lived it fully. Today he didn't complain either, as now he had no desire to live a life, that had been turned so ugly for him by those whom he had called his own. The wounds given by those who were his own was the only complain Peter had, and now he felt that his heart complication and his subsequent death, was a cure from these agonizing wounds.

"Peter, you are a beautiful person. Stop calling yourself pathetic and you definitely didn't deserve what you are going through. And its not so that you are all alone. I am with you, Sarah would have been for you and I am sure they all would have been there for you had they just understood.", said Mathews, with an assertive voice.

"Just understood. But they couldn't."

To be continued...